The Blame Game Extraordinaire

"Put away the pointing of the finger!" or, as Isaiah 58:9, ESV says it:  "... If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness." When I was a child, psychiatry was really into the blame game, there were no bad children, only bad parents. Every one of our problems was conveniently someone else's fault!  When there is estrangement in a relationship it is not our place to condemn the other party as being the recipient of the blame and to pinpoint blame on them.  In our relationship with God, on the other hand, our estrangement is completely our fault, we are the ones who moved and disobeyed God--He stayed the same and didn't move.

We have multiple personal relationships that are complicated and involve more than any one person could get a grip on and manipulate. Both parties are to blame for any domestic dispute, brotherly rivalry, family feud, or even unfriendly business competition or venture. When you blame someone and point the finger, three fingers are pointing back at you. You are saying that you are a victim and totally innocent and had nothing to do with instigating the misunderstanding and breach of relationship or alienation of affection, and you are alone in the position of holiness and innocence whereby you can impartially judge the motives of the other person involved in the misunderstanding (for most disagreements are simply a failure to communicate).

God alone is objective and impartial and able to make a judgment of culpability.  We are responsible for starting something that spiraled out of control and all the consequences, forgiven or not. Unless you are perfect, you share the blame and there is plenty to go around. There is a good reason not to get involved in a domestic because they are so complicated and not so readily resolved, as to blame--both deserve their fair share of culpability. When you are in the habit of blaming people for problems it shows a lack of responsibility and insight into the real nature of the issues, people, and problems.

An example of politicos playing the blame game is saying that things have gotten worse under Obama, a Democrat, and this is a reason to put Republicans in charge; the truth is that every bill proposed by the president has gotten nowhere in a gridlocked Congress, held captive by Republicans, who have stymied him from Day One, and have made it their mission statement to obstruct and discredit him and his legacy.  There is always another side to the story that they don't want you to know and are merely putting a spin on the news.  Soli Deo Gloria!

Should We Accept Criticism?

 "Wilt thou also disannul my judgment?  wilt thou condemn me, that thou mayest be righteous?" (Job 40:8).

We should accept each other because Christ has accepted us.  "Make allowance for one another person's faults" (Eph. 4:2).  Accepting a person doesn't mean that we think they are perfect, for a friend sees your faults and still accepts you the way you are, not the way you think you are.  "A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity [time of trial or adversity]"  (Proverbs 17:17).  It is good to have equals as friends because Prov. 27:17 says that "iron sharpens iron."  We shouldn't expect our feelings never to get hurt nor wear them on our sleeve because the truth often hurts and Proverbs also says that "faithful are the wounds of a friend."

We all have four faces:  the one we see; the one our friends see; the one our enemies see; and the one God sees.  God sees through the veneer and there is no fooling him;  we all have feet of clay and have weaknesses not readily apparent to the observer--sometimes only those closest to us really know us and we are putting up a facade to others, which is really hypocrisy.

Friendship involves give and take and is not co-dependent where both parties can't get along without each other so much that they idolize each other to the point of near perfection--no one is perfect as married couples find out when the honeymoon is over.  If you are looking for someone to see you as perfect you can give up because you aren't even if you think so.

Everyone is a hypocrite to a degree, it's just a matter of degree and transparency.  We need to learn to be frank with others and not be afraid to let the real person be revealed in all its reality--some people don't face reality and don't even reckon themselves as sinners and this is the delusion some have, even to the point of grandeur and we are superior to others.  Criticism is helpful and is the only creatures that have the ability to be self-critical as well.  Constructive criticism is needed whether we like it or not.  If you are too timid to criticize when you do have discernment, you may lose what discernment you have.

You just can't say someone is getting ad hominem  [arguing to the man rather than to the argument] with you just because they get personal--when they know you and are able to make; there is a place for honest criticism. Note that the Bible says nothing about this, it is strictly man's wisdom of arguing--there is always a place for discernment.   It is not ad hominem unless you are trying to win an argument with the insult. Above all else, a word to the wise:  Don't retaliate and return insult for insult or criticism for criticism (it may escalate out of control and do irreparable damage); the Bible says it is gracious to overlook an insult.  Soli Deo Gloria!