Marital Bliss

When God created Eve, God saw that Adam was a lonely person and it was not good. NOTE: It is not being single that is bad but being alone in the world for God made us to be social creatures.  He attempted to find some help fit for him among the animal kingdom but none were sufficiently able to do that so he decided to create Eve also to be in God's image after Adam to meet his needs.   We are "complete in Christ," not complete in our mate!  Then they can realize that Eve is equal and partner in life, not his subordinate or inferior. He was not meant to take orders from Adam but to challenge him to keep him on his toes and make him realize that he is not supreme even though he was first created. You could say that Adam was the crown of God's creation but Eve was God's finishing touch. God's last creation was Eve therefore you could say that his best creation was Eve--he could not improve on her! God's last word!  Actually, beauty was perfected in Eve, not Adam, because I think he saw that she was beautiful. He was created for Adam, not Adam for Eve--to get that straight. 

Now people think that it is not good for a man to be alone meaning that he ought to be married to be happy or to have a woman as his companion. There's a difference between solitude and loneliness.  You can be a happy and fulfilled solitary man! If you know God that is!  You can have much company and still be alone in life you can be around people and be lonely and you can not have many friends and be lonely. Paul was single and he saw a marriage as a concession made to man because of his lust [not because he would be lonely!] and his weaknesses and you are better off being single if you can handle being signal without burning and lust.  He saw being single as a calling from God in a special gift (celibacy).  God did not intend to make it a special spiritual milestone when they become married as a graduation, prize, trophy, or award from God or as demonstrating extra spirituality.   

Now, I can say in my life I'm glad that I was divorced because that's when God gave me a spiritual wake-up call into service and I renewed myself spiritually and made a recommitment to my life. Paul is right when he said that when you're married your loyalties are divided you cannot devote your whole life and time to God. You have divided loyalty to your family and wife. The cares of this life have a danger to choke out kingdom duties and obligations or service.  This takes away from God's time. But I believe celibacy is a gift and the church should not enforce it like they do on the Catholic priest. 

There will come a time when marriage will be forbidden says in the prophetic word of the Bible among priests and preachers. When people are married, they usually refer to their spouse as their better half or their inspiration or reason for living but they must not see their spouse as an idol or a person that takes the place of God in their lives or even someone they worship, in other words.  It also says in the Bible when you find a wife you find a good thing and obtain favor from the Lord; this is a blessing and we should be glad and praise God when we find a wife for this is God's will for us.  People can get married apart from the Lord's sanction authority, purpose, or permission. They want to do their own thing and refuse to listen to advice like when they are unequally yoked or living in sin. 

Counseling is also called for when such a one may be living in disobedience and is considering marriage. It is important when you're married to find the right one or Mr Right or conversely Mrs Right. That does not mean they are perfect but they are meant for you you're you're man or your woman when God gave you they're more than just a friend they're they are an advisor, an advocate, an intercessor a counselor, a confidant, and intimate companion to share life with.  

In sum, marriage is a partnership of two equals seeking God's will for them as a team and having unity and oneness of spirit and spiritual goals; therefore, God has decided to use both together to accomplish his will, and bliss in marriage is only found this way or they will be fighting God and his will! Soli Deo Gloria! 

What About Those Divorced?

"'...Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate'" (Mark 10:9, NIV). 

Divorce is nearly one of two marriages now, even among Christians because they are not walking in obedience.  There are umpteen reasons to get divorced but most states now offer "no-fault" divorces so that anyone can get a divorce for virtually any reason, without even stipulating it.  Sometimes one party is forced into it unwillingly and is a victim of sorts of the system. To mention a "for instance," divorce can cause permanent trauma to both parties--there may be delayed or long-term effects.  Divorce isn't God's design but only a concession due to the hardness of man's heart.  It is wise not to go beyond that which is written as 1 Cor. 4:6 says, and to stick to biblical guidelines.  The Bible is very explicit that God SAYS "I hate divorce" (cf. Mal. 2:16)--it is only appropriate in certain cases--(i.e., that it's His will).

But believers are also capable of disobeying God and of falling into sin or rebellion, even backsliding and getting divorced when they should have reconciled or worked it out.  But sometimes this is rendered impossible due to circumstances.  Note that the Bible never gives believers permission to divorce due to falling out of love or what is legally termed "irreconcilable differences."  But we all can make mistakes, fall short, and exhibit poor judgment and we are not to judge or make life difficult for someone's errors and confessed sins committed long ago. 

God doesn't write anyone off as hopeless and out of it--He can work with any penitent soul; i.e., it's never too late for a fresh start with God and a clean slate when coming clean and making our peace with God.  No need to say, "I've made a big mistake AND BLEW IT and I'll be paying for it the rest of my life."  We can always get on track with God's BEST plan for our lives WITH ANOTHER CHANCE.

God is a God of grace and mercy and can extend it to anyone who is repentant, even believers.  One cannot change the past or make up for mistakes but must live and learn and go on with the school of hard knocks and experience.  But redressing or making amends is always called for whenever possible.  God says that no matter what we've done, He will receive us if we repent (cf. Lev. 26:44)!  But God wants sincere repentance and a change of heart and will to abide in Him from now on, i.e., sometimes it's impossible to correct past mistakes or to change the past.   Christians are capable of falling into temptation and sin and disobeying God like anyone else, but God always brings them back into fellowship and restores them--the apostasy or fall from grace is never permanent.

The lesson learned is that God may have other plans for the divorced and doesn't want their "interests divided" as it were.  If a person is divorced, they should not seek marriage but God's will and direction--God's plan for their lives through a life of obedience and submission to the Lord as a calling of being the servant of the Lord.  We should be careful not to celebrate or harbor the world's viewpoint of divorce and remarriage, which is far too lenient and lax, biblically speaking.  Granted, there are times when divorce is warranted, but adultery and unbelief are hardly the common ones we see today--it's usually flippant, selfish, and frivolous reasons that can be worked out and reconciled.

But we should never assume that marriage is the ideal state for everyone, but some are called to be celibate--it's a spiritual gift.  Many divorces can be avoided by not marrying outside your faith and ending up jeopardizing it at the expense of trying to save the marriage.  One's faith must take first priority and to be unequally yoked is forbidden by God (cf. 2 Cor. 6:14), yet people have flaws and feet of clay (weaknesses not readily apparent) and make mistakes that can even ruin their lives. 

But sometimes people act in ignorance and unbelief and need forgiveness, but it's God's will for them to work it out and not give up too soon.  If both parties are one in the Spirit, it can be worked out.  To stay together, however, both parties must be fully committed even though unrequited love is a hard burden to bear, but this is God's will and a test of one's faith.   

Meanwhile, the church is an organism of imperfect souls working out their salvation (cf. Phil. 2:12)--no perfect people need to apply!  The same set of standards for believers and unbelievers in the world differs--we see the light (cf. John 1:7-9; 8:12) and should know better and are therefore accountable and more culpable (cf. Rom. 14:12; 2 Cor. 5:10). Unbelievers are sinners who need repentance for their sins.  It is a sin to divorce for unbiblical reasons (cf. Mark 10:9)!  

But Christ came to seek and to save the lost (cf. Luke 19:10: Matt. 18:11) and the church is a hospital for sinners, not a hotel for saints!  We're not sanitizing personalities, but salvaging souls, as bona fide members of the soul patrol!  He came not to call the righteous, but sinners [unto repentance] (cf. Matt. 3:2; 9:13; Mark 1:14-15; Luke 5:32).  Sin is not to be condoned, but preached (cf. Luke 13:3,5) and people are to get saved from its power over them (cf. Matt. 1:21)--to be set free in Christ (cf. John 8:36).    Soli Deo Gloria!

Marriage Manifests The Deity...

There are only three bona fide institutions ordained by God:  family, church, and government.  They are all necessary for society's function and stability--the glues that hold us together and hinder Satan's work and keep evil at bay.  Marriage especially preserves society from evil becoming rampant or out of control.  Augustine is attributed with saying that "government is not a necessary evil, but necessary because of evil!"  We all need to find fulfillment in these institutions, or our mission from God. Everyone is responsible for his own assigned domain.  We are all on a mission!  That involves our roles or duties in our family, our church, and government--we don't concede the world-system to Satan by default.

Man is complete in marriage, just as we are complete in Christ, and need each other in the church, and the government doing what the others are not meant to do, each with their own sphere of sovereignty.  One institution has no right to intrude on the other's responsibilities or powers.  Now the Bible says that everything created by God is good and all good comes from God--that includes these institutions.  Woe to those who call good evil and vice versa!  But beware:  Satan is bent on destroying our society and make us independent of God--he doesn't care how good we are as long as we keep Him out of it and privatize our faith--eradicate God from the public square of discourse!

Marriage, biblically, is a union between a man and a woman, that is meant to be permanent and exclusive and is a mutual give and take or sharing, sacrifice, responsibilities, stewardship, compromise, and relationship that each compliment the other and unselfishly meet or fulfill each other's needs (psychological, emotional, social, and physical)--everyone needs someone to share their life with.  There is meant to be unity, not uniformity!  Marriage works if you work at it, they say!  They are a team and need each other.  Intimacy is a primary goal, just like it is with God--we are social creatures and desire to be known and to know one another.  Marriage is a good way for the couple to find their identity and to see where they can have an impact and make a difference with their common calling.  We all have a need to interact and socialize.  This institution should not be maligned because it has God's blessing as defined by Him, not the government!

The biggest anchor of our society is marriage and it is often called the great civilizer because each partner grows in maturity and character and they each realize their unique potential in building relationships and foundations for a witness to the world at large. The woman was created from man's rib so that she would be close to him and be of his essence as the finishing touch of all God's work--afterward, He could say nothing but "very good."   When God created woman as the consummation of His creation, and for this reason, marriage is good because God declared it to be. The purpose of marriage is not merely to propagate the species or to copulate, but this is an expression of true love being fulfilled and shared by two caring and intimate individuals.

Marriages only last if the solidarity is in God as the center and focus.  Marriage is meant to be a representation of God at work and is in this respect the crown of creation (mankind) made plain to see, saying it was very good.  It needs that third participant for meaning and fulfillment.  Marriage without God in the equation will not be all it's cracked up to be and may seem like a dead end or lost cause.  The whole purpose of marriage is oneness, or to be so involved on all levels that your acquaintance of each other is unavoidable and productive--one's spouse has a unique contribution to the relationship based on personal insight and intimacy.  Removing God from the picture only invites disaster and neglects the rock of stability in Christ.

Partners or mates (spouse is a secular word) can pay special attention to Augustine's dictum and apply it wisely when they find themselves disagreeing, and they will:  "In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; in all things, charity."  Remember:  Each partner needs the other and is perfectly designed for them as God's plan and intention with His blessing.  They're the one meant for each other and need to learn to work things out not fight or quarrel.  Marriage is not a power play, though the man is the head of the household (the role of subordination does not mean inferiority), Christ is His head and he should love his wife as Christ loves the church--it's an institution of equals!   Each should be fully convinced that they are meant for each other and God has a plan for them to do jointly.

There can be a great fallout from contention, argument, divisiveness, and judgmental attitudes because there is always the ingredient or fallout of sin. Remember who the enemy is, know your enemy and beware of his schemes of psychological, mind games and to divide and conquer.  Sometimes marriage seems to deteriorate into being each other's number one critic.  When a marriage is successful, people may wonder what kept them together and the best answer is the grace of God and applying His principles.  Remember:  Marriage was God's idea and His invention and is not subject to man's revisionism, revamping, tampering, re-interpretation, or inventions.  It was here long before government was instituted and has priority over it in its domain!

In sum, what brought the couple together initially was probably shared interests and commonalities, being made for each other, and complimenting each other, but what keeps them knit together with the tie that binds is their union in Christ as the cohesive factor (or missing ingredient in some marriages)--that is why they must never jeopardize their relationship and faith by being unequally yoked, for it's meant to be a representation of Christ and the church, which is a mystery!   Thus, we recognize that God is a triune relationship and reveals Himself to us personally in marriage!  Each partner is to offer support to the other half for they are one flesh, and hopefully, one in spirit and in the Spirit, sharing common goals of oneness, not mere friendship!   NB:  Marriage differs from casual friendships and ties in that there's commitment, much like the one made to find salvation.   Soli Deo Gloria!