"Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose" (Philippians 2:2, NLT).
Sometimes it behooves us to merely agree to disagree and realize the reality that we aren't always going to be in 100 percent agreement on everything, all the time. If we find that we are never disagreeing, maybe we don't discuss enough topics or explore new areas--broaden your horizons! Sometimes it's a shock to newlyweds when they have their first disagreement or spat and think it's all over. This is only the beginning of a relationship, not the end of a honeymoon. Relationships have their give and take and both sides have something to say and contribute; no one is all right all the time and can't ever be wrong, because no one has a monopoly on the truth, and we all need each other.
If you've never disagreed with your friend or made friends with someone you disagree with, you haven't lived. If you find that you always agree, then you may just be a yes man and not doing any independent thinking. You may find out that eventually you may disagree with even the greatest of Bible teachers or pastors and God can show you something new--for even no prophecy is of any private interpretation. Something is not correct just because a great theologian, teacher, or preacher says so, we must be ever diligent to study the Word ourselves and take our own responsibility.
We must never have our minds so made up we don't want to be confused with the facts, knowing when God may be trying to speak to us through someone we least expect--even the voice of a child! Historian Paul Johnson said, "A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts!" Some have a tendency to make their facts fit their theories--just the opposite of what we should do! Socrates himself said that "to gain knowledge one must admit ignorance." Caveat: Even you could be wrong! It's also said that education is merely going from an unconscious to a conscious awareness of our ignorance! When we become arrogant and think we know it all, or no one can teach us anything, we must be humbled by God, for "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (cf. James 4:6).
Our friends aren't just the ones who concur with us all the time, for an honest criticism is more valuable than flattery or a kiss on the lips from an enemy. Some people are merely casting nets for themselves, trying to be everyone's friend. Life isn't a contest to see how many friends we can manage--but how close, intimate, trustworthy, honest, etc. they are! It is rare to be 100 percent in sync or always on the same page! And remember: It is our pride that gets hurt when we don't want to admit we are wrong. Show me someone who never apologizes and I'll show you one of great pride and no real friends. Sometimes the disagreement is merely a failure to communicate, and resultant of using the same lingo, but different dictionaries: you must find out where they're coming from and what they mean by their terminology to instigate the understanding.
In building relationships you need a starting point to be the foundation; for instance, in marriage, you should be equally yoked, because romantic feelings may fluctuate and make for a rocky marriage. In church we assume members are saved, and this makes for a beginning of a relationship without interrogating everyone. In politics, no matter how alienated we may become, we should never demonize each other or become polarizing, because there's always some middle ground, even if it's hard to define, such as patriotism and humanity. In the final analysis of a long-term relationship, we need common purpose, goals, interests, and plans to make it last.
In relationships, its important to stimulate the other to think for himself and to learn something new, which implies they haven't thought it before. Now, the Bible urges us to live harmoniously and to be one in the Spirit: "Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace [keeping the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace]" (Eph. 4:3: NLT). The only thing that counts is the expression of love, which means we learn from and teach each other in our relationships. Aurelius Augustine (often with the appellation "Saint"), Bishop of Hippo, had a famous dictum: "In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, [negotiables] liberty; in all things, charity. Christians will find that they must never compromise with the devil or make concessions to the truths that unite us, believers. We must never "give the devil an opportunity."
We must learn to pick our battles as Gen. George S. Patton said, that we should never engage in a fight where we have nothing to win or gain from. We must fight the good fight and that entails sticking up for the truth as we know it. Jude 3 admonishes us to "contend for the faith once and for all delivered unto the saints." If we don't stand up for right and wrong and even take our stand, what makes us think we would stand up for Jesus? Don't ever compromise your core values just to remain friends, but you can still be friends and you don't have to treat them like an enemy just because you disagree on vital issues. The best testimony we have as a church body is our expression of love: "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love..." (cf. Gal. 5:6, NIV).
We need to learn to work out our conflicts and disagreements and come into harmony as a body, which gives us a testimony to the world, which will see what Christ's love can do. When two disagree, they must both realize that they could be wrong (if you are unwilling to admit you could be wrong, you'll never arrive at the truth!), and this may humble a person, especially the type that likes to be right all the time and doesn't like to admit being wrong. Both can be wrong in any given argument or quarrel, but both parties cannot be right! They can both be partially right or partially wrong though--truth is seldom black and white in some issues with no middle, neutral or gray area. But in any case, we must be willing to be tolerant of the other's opinions and leave room for disagreement without trying to be dogmatic on everything. We will find out that we can learn something from everyone and that we don't know it all!
There's more to spirituality than being right all the time or having impeccably sound and correct doctrine; it's more important that our hearts be in the right place, and we learn to love those we don't always agree with too. Remember this one lesson in engaging in disagreements: the devil's chief strategy is to divide and conquer! People's pride will drive them to fight about minor issues simply because it is hard to admit being wrong, but if you've never admitted being wrong, you've never lived to know better either. You begin to learn from others when you realize you don't know it or, or should I say, that you've arrived.
The joy of fellowship is that we have come to agreement in the Spirit, not just intellectually. Some battles generate more heat than light and are not worth the adrenaline! For instance, don't get into heated political discussions in church where we are gathered together to honor the Lord and be in agreement as a body spiritually; leave room for disagreement and give people their space and right to disagree.
One important concept is to learn that there is a difference between opinion and conviction and we should never confuse the two: we hold opinions; convictions hold us. People will die for their convictions, but seldom, if ever, for their opinions. And so much disagreement is because people have the wrong worldview, which they probably learned in school in a secular setting, and is thus the secular worldview prevalent in academia. If the foundations are strong and healthy, the branches will be too! I must mention that many churches are negligent in this duty to teach the foundations of a worldview and parents are woefully prepared for the task, and pawn the problem off on the church, which assumed it was the family's domain.
We are never to engage in petty squabbles nor let them define who we are, but to grow in our learning experience, learning to set aside our personal agendas for the sake of the truth, which we are to speak in love for the sake of the Name. We should never become contentious, judgmental, argumentative, nor divisive! Churches have been known to split over minor differences, but mainly churches part due to church politics and control problems over who is the leader of such and such group as its spiritual leader, and they just use the argument as an excuse or guise. When push comes to shove, we must realize that some controversies are not productive nor fruitful, and are godless, but we should indeed engage in godly controversies--what if the Arian heresy had never been condemned at the Council of Nicea in AD 325? What if the canon had never been closed at the Council of Carthage in AD 397?
In summation, what is fellowship, but harmonious relationship and agreement in Spirit? One definition is two fellows in the same ship! We tend to only agree with friends but Jesus says to agree with our adversary (cf. Matt. 5:25)! What's more, often there's more to agree with than disagree and we can always find commonalities or common ground to fellowship about something. To walk together hand in hand, we don't always have to see eyeball-to-eyeball (our degree of intimacy will vary): you don't have to agree about everything, and then open yourself up to disappointment or set yourself up for failure
Finally, Amos tells us good advice about being in a harmonious relationship: "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Cf. Amos 3:3). The NLT puts it: "Can two people walk together without agreeing on a direction?" Only engage in disputes where you have something significant and worthwhile to gain; some just generate more heat than light! The point is to be friendly, you may discover you have more in common than you realized! The point is that we will not always jibe with each other, but must learn to disagree without being disagreeable! Soli Deo Gloria!
Sometimes it behooves us to merely agree to disagree and realize the reality that we aren't always going to be in 100 percent agreement on everything, all the time. If we find that we are never disagreeing, maybe we don't discuss enough topics or explore new areas--broaden your horizons! Sometimes it's a shock to newlyweds when they have their first disagreement or spat and think it's all over. This is only the beginning of a relationship, not the end of a honeymoon. Relationships have their give and take and both sides have something to say and contribute; no one is all right all the time and can't ever be wrong, because no one has a monopoly on the truth, and we all need each other.
If you've never disagreed with your friend or made friends with someone you disagree with, you haven't lived. If you find that you always agree, then you may just be a yes man and not doing any independent thinking. You may find out that eventually you may disagree with even the greatest of Bible teachers or pastors and God can show you something new--for even no prophecy is of any private interpretation. Something is not correct just because a great theologian, teacher, or preacher says so, we must be ever diligent to study the Word ourselves and take our own responsibility.
We must never have our minds so made up we don't want to be confused with the facts, knowing when God may be trying to speak to us through someone we least expect--even the voice of a child! Historian Paul Johnson said, "A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts!" Some have a tendency to make their facts fit their theories--just the opposite of what we should do! Socrates himself said that "to gain knowledge one must admit ignorance." Caveat: Even you could be wrong! It's also said that education is merely going from an unconscious to a conscious awareness of our ignorance! When we become arrogant and think we know it all, or no one can teach us anything, we must be humbled by God, for "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (cf. James 4:6).
Our friends aren't just the ones who concur with us all the time, for an honest criticism is more valuable than flattery or a kiss on the lips from an enemy. Some people are merely casting nets for themselves, trying to be everyone's friend. Life isn't a contest to see how many friends we can manage--but how close, intimate, trustworthy, honest, etc. they are! It is rare to be 100 percent in sync or always on the same page! And remember: It is our pride that gets hurt when we don't want to admit we are wrong. Show me someone who never apologizes and I'll show you one of great pride and no real friends. Sometimes the disagreement is merely a failure to communicate, and resultant of using the same lingo, but different dictionaries: you must find out where they're coming from and what they mean by their terminology to instigate the understanding.
In building relationships you need a starting point to be the foundation; for instance, in marriage, you should be equally yoked, because romantic feelings may fluctuate and make for a rocky marriage. In church we assume members are saved, and this makes for a beginning of a relationship without interrogating everyone. In politics, no matter how alienated we may become, we should never demonize each other or become polarizing, because there's always some middle ground, even if it's hard to define, such as patriotism and humanity. In the final analysis of a long-term relationship, we need common purpose, goals, interests, and plans to make it last.
In relationships, its important to stimulate the other to think for himself and to learn something new, which implies they haven't thought it before. Now, the Bible urges us to live harmoniously and to be one in the Spirit: "Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace [keeping the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace]" (Eph. 4:3: NLT). The only thing that counts is the expression of love, which means we learn from and teach each other in our relationships. Aurelius Augustine (often with the appellation "Saint"), Bishop of Hippo, had a famous dictum: "In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, [negotiables] liberty; in all things, charity. Christians will find that they must never compromise with the devil or make concessions to the truths that unite us, believers. We must never "give the devil an opportunity."
We must learn to pick our battles as Gen. George S. Patton said, that we should never engage in a fight where we have nothing to win or gain from. We must fight the good fight and that entails sticking up for the truth as we know it. Jude 3 admonishes us to "contend for the faith once and for all delivered unto the saints." If we don't stand up for right and wrong and even take our stand, what makes us think we would stand up for Jesus? Don't ever compromise your core values just to remain friends, but you can still be friends and you don't have to treat them like an enemy just because you disagree on vital issues. The best testimony we have as a church body is our expression of love: "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love..." (cf. Gal. 5:6, NIV).
We need to learn to work out our conflicts and disagreements and come into harmony as a body, which gives us a testimony to the world, which will see what Christ's love can do. When two disagree, they must both realize that they could be wrong (if you are unwilling to admit you could be wrong, you'll never arrive at the truth!), and this may humble a person, especially the type that likes to be right all the time and doesn't like to admit being wrong. Both can be wrong in any given argument or quarrel, but both parties cannot be right! They can both be partially right or partially wrong though--truth is seldom black and white in some issues with no middle, neutral or gray area. But in any case, we must be willing to be tolerant of the other's opinions and leave room for disagreement without trying to be dogmatic on everything. We will find out that we can learn something from everyone and that we don't know it all!
There's more to spirituality than being right all the time or having impeccably sound and correct doctrine; it's more important that our hearts be in the right place, and we learn to love those we don't always agree with too. Remember this one lesson in engaging in disagreements: the devil's chief strategy is to divide and conquer! People's pride will drive them to fight about minor issues simply because it is hard to admit being wrong, but if you've never admitted being wrong, you've never lived to know better either. You begin to learn from others when you realize you don't know it or, or should I say, that you've arrived.
The joy of fellowship is that we have come to agreement in the Spirit, not just intellectually. Some battles generate more heat than light and are not worth the adrenaline! For instance, don't get into heated political discussions in church where we are gathered together to honor the Lord and be in agreement as a body spiritually; leave room for disagreement and give people their space and right to disagree.
One important concept is to learn that there is a difference between opinion and conviction and we should never confuse the two: we hold opinions; convictions hold us. People will die for their convictions, but seldom, if ever, for their opinions. And so much disagreement is because people have the wrong worldview, which they probably learned in school in a secular setting, and is thus the secular worldview prevalent in academia. If the foundations are strong and healthy, the branches will be too! I must mention that many churches are negligent in this duty to teach the foundations of a worldview and parents are woefully prepared for the task, and pawn the problem off on the church, which assumed it was the family's domain.
We are never to engage in petty squabbles nor let them define who we are, but to grow in our learning experience, learning to set aside our personal agendas for the sake of the truth, which we are to speak in love for the sake of the Name. We should never become contentious, judgmental, argumentative, nor divisive! Churches have been known to split over minor differences, but mainly churches part due to church politics and control problems over who is the leader of such and such group as its spiritual leader, and they just use the argument as an excuse or guise. When push comes to shove, we must realize that some controversies are not productive nor fruitful, and are godless, but we should indeed engage in godly controversies--what if the Arian heresy had never been condemned at the Council of Nicea in AD 325? What if the canon had never been closed at the Council of Carthage in AD 397?
In summation, what is fellowship, but harmonious relationship and agreement in Spirit? One definition is two fellows in the same ship! We tend to only agree with friends but Jesus says to agree with our adversary (cf. Matt. 5:25)! What's more, often there's more to agree with than disagree and we can always find commonalities or common ground to fellowship about something. To walk together hand in hand, we don't always have to see eyeball-to-eyeball (our degree of intimacy will vary): you don't have to agree about everything, and then open yourself up to disappointment or set yourself up for failure
Finally, Amos tells us good advice about being in a harmonious relationship: "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Cf. Amos 3:3). The NLT puts it: "Can two people walk together without agreeing on a direction?" Only engage in disputes where you have something significant and worthwhile to gain; some just generate more heat than light! The point is to be friendly, you may discover you have more in common than you realized! The point is that we will not always jibe with each other, but must learn to disagree without being disagreeable! Soli Deo Gloria!