As Ecclesiastes 3:4 says: "A time to weep, a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."
"...to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion--to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit [a spirit of heaviness]..." (Isaiah 61:2-3, ESV). PLEASE READ ON!
God works everything according to His timetable, "...for he hath made everything beautiful in its time" (Eccles. 3:11); also, "There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven" (Eccles. 3:1, NLT). We must not question Him: Job 12:13 (ESV) says, "With God are wisdom and might; he has counsel and understanding [His wisdom is profound, His power is great]." And King Nebuchadnezzar says: "...none can stay his hand, or say unto him, What hast thou done?" (Daniel 4:35). We wouldn't do any better of a job running the cosmos as God, who is still at work micromanaging the time-space continuum with all its matter and energy--there is not even one maverick molecule that escapes His sovereignty, and nothing surprises Him that He has to revert to Plan B.
One reason we have trials, tribulations, suffering, and adversity or calamity is to show what we are made of--Christ didn't even exempt Himself because it's part of the required curriculum of life (Reality 101) and everyone should experience it. It doesn't show what they were made of but what you are made of. The same sun hardens the clay melts the butter. Experience is not always just what happens to you, but what you do with it--what happens in you. God is determined to make us in Christ's image. When does a silversmith know when he is done polishing; when he can see himself in the silver! When asked a sculptor how he could make a horse out of a rock, he said he simply takes away everything that doesn't look like a horse! Michelangelo found a rock of granite that had been rejected by other artists as useless and formed the statue of David out of it.
Therefore, God can make something out of nobodies and uses common people to accomplish His purposes just as readily as anybody else. It follows that we are works in progress and must keep in mind that He will not give up till He is finished with us: "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion..." (Phil. 1:6). Remember that God isn't finished with us yet and no one has arrived: "I have seen a limit to all perfection" (Psalm 119:96); "Let him who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall" (1 Cor. 10:12); also, "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended..." (Phil. 3:13).
I postulate that God is the"...Father of all mercies and the God of comfort..." (2 Cor. 1:3). God's in the "comfort business" so be comforters! That's why Paul says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" (Rom. 12:15, ESV). He wants us to have empathy and that means putting ourselves in their shoes. We find out what we are made of and not what kind of people they are by our experience. He comforts us so we can return the gesture to others in their bereavement in kind.
Mourning is a therapeutic thing to do for coping with tragedy and death (it is not escapism or a sign of weakness) and all of must get the closure sufficient to readjust and carry on. For instance, in the military, they practically force you to go on emergency leave when your next-of-kin passes on, because they don't want you to be maladjusted and have emotional problems later coming on. You cannot predict a moment of breakdown into tears and sorrow. When Jesus wept I'm sure He was taken aback Himself and didn't anticipate it. A person may go to a funeral and seem unmoved, but it will sooner or later hit him and he will pay the piper as it were.
Rest in faith and be assured that God has a purpose for everything He does: "The LORD has made everything for his own purposes, even the wicked for punishment" (Prov. 16:4, NLT). Jesus had to get "acquainted with grief" and weep for Lazarus to be in the position to identify with our sorrows. "He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" according to Isaiah 53:3.
It is not appropriate to have a spirit of levity, or jest at funerals for the sake of humor (we don't want a comedian there to change the mood, for instance) but to feel their loss and comfort them in their bereavement. We console them and not make light of it if we can relate to them at all. Humor should be appropriate: I have seen much laughing going on at funerals, which isn't wrong per se; there is a place for holy humor, but we shouldn't get carried away and put it into its place (if something funny happened in his life, that's different) and not let it disturb the spirit--that's why we attend funerals with our condolences: Solomon says that "it is better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting [mirth]" ( Ecclesiastes 7:2).
Somehow it seems that we are closer to God in our tears than in our laughter for Jesus said, "Woe to you who laugh [inappropriately] now, for you shall weep" (Luke 6:35). "Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief" (Prov. 14:13). It is harder and better to make someone cry than to laugh; anyone can tell a joke: "Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad" (Eccles. 7:3).
Funerals are a necessary ingredient to the healing process whereby we get closure and reach a conclusion about the matter and can go on living, having learned something from it--they are to console the survivors and not to judge the deceased. Like God said of Abel's blood, that it spoke, though he was dead ("And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks," from Heb.11:4b, ESV), every person that dies has a story to tell and we have something to glean and relate to--our chance to get to know them from people that did. The concept of putting ourselves in their shoes and empathizing, and trying to say their message as they would tell it if they were with us, is quite a gift and part of the grace we can give others from our learning experiences or wisdom. We may experience the gamut of emotion and show transition from tears to joy and even laughter! We must all say our goodbye's and go on living and know that we have done all we could have done and have no regrets, (we must acknowledge that it's over and we must go on)--not blaming ourselves and develop guilt that could scar us, for instance.
We don't want to be inappropriate but supportive in our fellowship with the mourners, and reassure them that Christ came to "comfort those who mourn in Zion" (cf. Isa. 61:1). When we grow strong from our afflictions, we can testify with Paul: "But none of these things move me..." (Acts 20:24, KJV). Soli Deo Gloria!
"...to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion--to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit [a spirit of heaviness]..." (Isaiah 61:2-3, ESV). PLEASE READ ON!
God works everything according to His timetable, "...for he hath made everything beautiful in its time" (Eccles. 3:11); also, "There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven" (Eccles. 3:1, NLT). We must not question Him: Job 12:13 (ESV) says, "With God are wisdom and might; he has counsel and understanding [His wisdom is profound, His power is great]." And King Nebuchadnezzar says: "...none can stay his hand, or say unto him, What hast thou done?" (Daniel 4:35). We wouldn't do any better of a job running the cosmos as God, who is still at work micromanaging the time-space continuum with all its matter and energy--there is not even one maverick molecule that escapes His sovereignty, and nothing surprises Him that He has to revert to Plan B.
One reason we have trials, tribulations, suffering, and adversity or calamity is to show what we are made of--Christ didn't even exempt Himself because it's part of the required curriculum of life (Reality 101) and everyone should experience it. It doesn't show what they were made of but what you are made of. The same sun hardens the clay melts the butter. Experience is not always just what happens to you, but what you do with it--what happens in you. God is determined to make us in Christ's image. When does a silversmith know when he is done polishing; when he can see himself in the silver! When asked a sculptor how he could make a horse out of a rock, he said he simply takes away everything that doesn't look like a horse! Michelangelo found a rock of granite that had been rejected by other artists as useless and formed the statue of David out of it.
Therefore, God can make something out of nobodies and uses common people to accomplish His purposes just as readily as anybody else. It follows that we are works in progress and must keep in mind that He will not give up till He is finished with us: "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion..." (Phil. 1:6). Remember that God isn't finished with us yet and no one has arrived: "I have seen a limit to all perfection" (Psalm 119:96); "Let him who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall" (1 Cor. 10:12); also, "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended..." (Phil. 3:13).
I postulate that God is the"...Father of all mercies and the God of comfort..." (2 Cor. 1:3). God's in the "comfort business" so be comforters! That's why Paul says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" (Rom. 12:15, ESV). He wants us to have empathy and that means putting ourselves in their shoes. We find out what we are made of and not what kind of people they are by our experience. He comforts us so we can return the gesture to others in their bereavement in kind.
Mourning is a therapeutic thing to do for coping with tragedy and death (it is not escapism or a sign of weakness) and all of must get the closure sufficient to readjust and carry on. For instance, in the military, they practically force you to go on emergency leave when your next-of-kin passes on, because they don't want you to be maladjusted and have emotional problems later coming on. You cannot predict a moment of breakdown into tears and sorrow. When Jesus wept I'm sure He was taken aback Himself and didn't anticipate it. A person may go to a funeral and seem unmoved, but it will sooner or later hit him and he will pay the piper as it were.
Rest in faith and be assured that God has a purpose for everything He does: "The LORD has made everything for his own purposes, even the wicked for punishment" (Prov. 16:4, NLT). Jesus had to get "acquainted with grief" and weep for Lazarus to be in the position to identify with our sorrows. "He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" according to Isaiah 53:3.
It is not appropriate to have a spirit of levity, or jest at funerals for the sake of humor (we don't want a comedian there to change the mood, for instance) but to feel their loss and comfort them in their bereavement. We console them and not make light of it if we can relate to them at all. Humor should be appropriate: I have seen much laughing going on at funerals, which isn't wrong per se; there is a place for holy humor, but we shouldn't get carried away and put it into its place (if something funny happened in his life, that's different) and not let it disturb the spirit--that's why we attend funerals with our condolences: Solomon says that "it is better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting [mirth]" ( Ecclesiastes 7:2).
Somehow it seems that we are closer to God in our tears than in our laughter for Jesus said, "Woe to you who laugh [inappropriately] now, for you shall weep" (Luke 6:35). "Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief" (Prov. 14:13). It is harder and better to make someone cry than to laugh; anyone can tell a joke: "Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad" (Eccles. 7:3).
Funerals are a necessary ingredient to the healing process whereby we get closure and reach a conclusion about the matter and can go on living, having learned something from it--they are to console the survivors and not to judge the deceased. Like God said of Abel's blood, that it spoke, though he was dead ("And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks," from Heb.11:4b, ESV), every person that dies has a story to tell and we have something to glean and relate to--our chance to get to know them from people that did. The concept of putting ourselves in their shoes and empathizing, and trying to say their message as they would tell it if they were with us, is quite a gift and part of the grace we can give others from our learning experiences or wisdom. We may experience the gamut of emotion and show transition from tears to joy and even laughter! We must all say our goodbye's and go on living and know that we have done all we could have done and have no regrets, (we must acknowledge that it's over and we must go on)--not blaming ourselves and develop guilt that could scar us, for instance.
We don't want to be inappropriate but supportive in our fellowship with the mourners, and reassure them that Christ came to "comfort those who mourn in Zion" (cf. Isa. 61:1). When we grow strong from our afflictions, we can testify with Paul: "But none of these things move me..." (Acts 20:24, KJV). Soli Deo Gloria!