Liking Someone On One's Spiritual Book

"And I pray this:  that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment" (Eph. 1:9, HCSB).
"... People without discernment are doomed [ruined]" (Hosea 4:14, HCSB).

We don't just "like" someone on Facebook, but also in everyday life as we choose for ourselves who we want to look up to and emulate or even just feel a natural affection for.  We don't have to "like" anyone, not even on Facebook!  Of course, this doesn't mean we don't have to love our enemies, our neighbors, and brethren in Christ, but this is agape love from God and is a choice of the will, not a matter of feelings.  Loving and liking are not synonymous! 

It has been pointed out that we must love our enemies (I believe this means personal ones, not enemies of the state, for example) as well as our neighbors (those in our orbit or association and those who need us) and even friends because often we cannot tell the difference; they may be the same person!  We cannot always control our feelings and have the God-given right to exercise affection to whom we will. There is usually a natural affection for our family and kin and this isn't something demanded or commanded either.  We must love with all discernment and insight and not without discrimination.

Note that the Bible doesn't command us to like our parents nor for wives to like their husbands, but to respect and honor them which is different.  The point is that you can love someone without liking them and you may not feel much affection toward a baby who needs changing, but your love doesn't waver. Love is basically a choice and an attitude, not a warm, touchy-feely, fuzzy feeling.   Love takes many forms and I do not mean to over-generalize and make it seem like it's natural or okay to dislike everyone like we're everyone's judge and critic.

But practically speaking, one may not like one's political leaders though one believes in rendering respect and honor to whom it is due; but when a politician is evil and corrupt that entitlement may be precarious and lost because of our higher allegiances to principles and God.  That doesn't mean we don't obey our leaders when giving a law or legitimate order or command, but even in the military one may dislike one's commanding officer and yet show due respect by obeying, saluting, and even saying "Yes, sir!" when necessary.

There is redeeming social value in everyone due to the image of God in them, though this image is tarnished but being renewed after salvation. The point is that no one is totally evil nor utterly corrupt, but they are radically corrupt before salvation (we are as bad off as can be but not as bad as we can be due to God's restraints) and every aspect of their character and person is affected by the fall.   But overall, we have a right to like whom we choose to like! We all must have standards and not "like" indiscriminately without discernment. 

However, even if my enemy needed me, I would respond in a loving manner no matter what I thought of his personality or character.  I think that there is more danger in saying one really likes a perceived evil ruler rather than saying he doesn't--I would wonder if he's taken leave of his senses and lacks any discernment.  Likewise, we don't have to show respect or deference to everyone either, besides not violating their person or as being fellow human beings in the image of God with personal rights and dignity--we show respect to whom it's due!

In summation, we may feel we like certain people especially and befriend them--this is an honor, not a demand--we have a right to choose our friends but not our relatives whom we must accept and tolerate, not necessarily even like.  We aren't everyone's friend either!

NB:  The terminology of liking and loving someone is overused and misused in the English language and often we need to define terms or elaborate on what exactly we intend to say like Voltaire said, "If you want to discourse with me, define your terms."   Soli Deo Gloria!

Let's Make Friends

"Therefore, 'Come out from them, and be separate, says the Lord, Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you'" (2 Cor. 6:17, NIV, italics mine). 
"The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of wicked leads them astray"  (Prov. 12: 26, NIV, italics mine).  "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother"  (Proverbs 18:24, NIV, italics mine).
"A friend loves at all times,.." (Prov. 17:17, NIV).
"Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of one who gives gifts"  (Prov. 19:6, NIV, italics mine).
"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm"  (Prov. 13:20, ESV).

It is commonplace knowledge that we are known by the company we keep, and only a fool has no discretion in choosing friends.  Reading Proverbs gives one plenty of warnings to avoid the evildoer and not to befriend them.  "Do not envy the wicked, do not desire their company"  (Prov. 24:1, NIV).  We must be careful, lest we become like our friends, for our "buddies" influence us more than anyone else.

However, we must be friendly, and there is a difference, but keep our distance, make borders, and draw the line where we don't have the confidence to go with the Lord.  "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared"  (Prov. 22:24-25, NIV, italics mine).  The rich have many friends and everyone wants to be their friend (and it's hard for them to know their true friends), but even the friends of the poor despise them according to Proverbs.

Jesus was indeed the friend of sinners (as His enemies saw it) in reaching out to them but he did draw the line, the Pharisees had no desire to get to know Him or had any love in their hearts.  However, Jesus made it plain to the disciples that they were His friends; only those who obey Him are His friends.  Jesus had the Spirit without measure and was perfect and unspoiled by sinners, He wasn't able to be corrupted by them, as we are if we are not careful.

Now, I know this from experience and have come across sinners who've had no restraint, and the military, for example, is certainly not the place to send an innocent young person unless they are prepared to battle Satan on his turf.  In theory, you could say that a sinner cannot harm you and God protects you from being touched by the evil one (cf. John 17:5) but we are to know our limits and not tempt or test the Lord either.

The conclusion of the matter is:  If God is with me and God sends me somewhere I know that God will see me through and protect me--but that's the key--God with me in it.  A word to the wise is sufficient:  "Do not be deceived:  'Bad company corrupts good morals'"  (1 Cor. 15:33, ESV).  Take my sound advice:  Don't hang around the wrong crowd!  Becoming a Christian entails making new friends.   Soli Deo Gloria!

The Buddy System

AA utilizes the "buddy system" (called sponsors) to keep its members in line and on track.  This is vital to their philosophy:  NO ONE IS AN ISLAND OR A ROCK, WE ALL NEED SOMEONE.  I learned the same mindset in the Army also called the "buddy system" and wouldn't have made it through had I not found someone I could count on through thick and thin when the chips were down he was there.  Basically, I was "discipled" by Navigators and learned that one must be accountable to ever grow.  It isn't just "Jesus and you," as some approach the Christian life. This is an opportunity to go one-on-one with a mature believer and to get intense personal mentoring.

We all need someone to fall back on in time of need and that knows us, even our faults and weaknesses--accepting us nevertheless.  One of the greatest tragedies in war is that many soldiers lose their buddy and it's like losing a family member or worse because they have so much invested in him.  Buddies laugh and cry together and go through experiences together so they can share their lives:  It is an awful fate to face life alone without anyone to share it with.

The Christian life is like that, it's not so much whom we know, but also who knows us and how well--are we aboveboard and forthright?  Galatians 4:9 says that it's not that we know God, but that He knows us; this is echoed in Psalm 139, which declares how well He knows us.  We are indeed "fearfully and wonderfully made."  No one can face life's challenges and adversities alone, and most people find a mate to share life with, but those who are single they must keep on searching for someone significant to bond with.  It is a gift of God to be able to remain single (called celibacy) and still find fulfillment.

It is the hard times in life that teach us to lean on Jesus and to seek help in the body of Christ, so that we don't become self-sufficient and think too highly of ourselves, or even become independent.  In the "buddy system," nobody is superior nor inferior, but both are equals in the Lord and pull each other up by their bootstrap, depending on them in time of need.  They owe each other and see eye-to-eye, not necessarily on every issue, and they can walk hand-in-hand throughout life.

The important thing is unity, not uniformity and knowing what things are negotiable--they must keep bearing in mind that they're on the same side.  Even spouses have their disagreements, quarrels, and then eventually makeup and go on living in spite of it.  We are to prefer one another above ourselves and to fully accept one another despite their faults; for we are not perfect either and Christ has accepted us.   Soli Deo Gloria!

Jesus, Friend Of Sinners...

We all have probably heard of Jesus as the friend of sinners, as the Pharisees called him in Matt. 11:19 and it was meant as an insult and in a derogatory manner, but it back-fired.  None of us would be saved if he weren't a friend of sinners because that's what we all were and are. Praise the Lord he befriended us and saved us; we didn't befriend Him.   There are two kinds of sinners, justified ones, and lost ones; but we're all sinners.   They just referred to the sinners as a pejorative term that they didn't think applied to them. We must realize we have feet of clay and need salvation to be qualified for salvation:  the qualification is that we realize we aren't qualified!   Jesus said he came to "not to" call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."  We must admit we are lost and in sin to be saved.  We shouldn't look at the word sinners as "those guys" and should realize that when we point a finger at them, three are pointing back at us.

The Bible also says that in 1 Cor. 15:33 that "bad company corrupts good morals" and in Proverbs that a wise man chooses his friends carefully.  We are only responsible for our own sphere of influence and shouldn't feel that we fall short if we can't go into a wild party and convert everyone.  It is a sin to carouse and party in an unruly manner.   Jesus may have been around drunks and gluttons but he certainly didn't condone their sin or sanction it.  He said to the adulterous woman that he didn't condemn her, but he also said to "go and sin no more."  We should dare to take courageous stands in the name of the Lord, but not be judgmental at the same time.  It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict of sin, not our job to make them feel guilty.

There is a fine line to walk between being some sinners friend and actually condoning their behavior.   The Bible also says to "abstain from all appearance of evil," which means stay away from evil when it appears; to stay away from everything that may be construed as having the stain of evil would be impossible.  We should call a spade a spade, as it were, or should not try to invent pretty names for our sins, because they are still sinning.   

Jesus was never out of his element or comfort zone, but we fall short and shouldn't think that we are called to save everyone. One believer might be "Jesus" to the prisoners, another to lawyers, another to bikers, another to travelers, but that is their sphere of influence and they would be unsuccessful and have no testimony to someone else's; for instance, I am a veteran and God uses me to witness to vets, but I would have no testimony to blue-collar workers in a Ford plant, that I couldn't relate to, unless I spent considerable time working there and developed a testimony.

 
We all have to find the role in life God has assigned us, be faithful to that role, and not try to be something we're not. We should not limit ourselves to certain types of people, God brings all kinds of folks into our lives & we are always witnessing by our own example so always be prepared! I didn't mean to give that impression of limiting God's calling, but we are all designed for certain testimonies in my opinion, but that doesn't mean we are not used in other occasions and opportunities. "Be ready, in season and out...." "Always be prepared to give an answer....." We all have a calling, as it were, and must reach out to our circle of friends and sphere of influence whatever that may be.

I asked my pastor if I should feel guilty about not going downtown Saint Paul to witness because I felt I already had a ministry at the Vets Home. He said that I should witness here and that's a no-brainer. My mom always says to bloom where you're planted. In my estimation, some people are not suited to military life as an example and God will lead them elsewhere. We are all unique designs and creations of God and God has something specific for us to do and we should be faithful in that.


The objection may be raised of 1 Cor. 9:22 which says, "I have become all things to all people that I might, by all means, gain some...." N.B. that it says have become rather than "am" and when God leads us to someone (not us leading us) he has prepared that person and us for the witness. All things and all people doesn't necessarily mean all without exception but maybe all without distinction or all kinds of and not literally all in the without any exception in the absolute sense. Remember that Jesus opens and closes doors not us and he gets the credit.
1. Soli Deo Gloria!

Friends Closer Than Brothers?

The Bible assures us there is a friend closer than a brother and that is the biblical standard of affection and we call it brotherly affection or philia in Greek. Christians are capable of agape love for each other and for God and this is shed abroad in our hearts per Rom. 5: 5. Jesus is the closest possible friend we can have and is the ideal friend. But look at David and Jonathan whose souls were knit together and the tie surpassed that of women. They were called "bosom friends." Sometimes our brother is called to admonish us gently and to remind us that we are still human and do err! The Holy Writ also tells us that the wounds of a friend are better ("faithful") than the kisses (flattery) of an enemy.

Brothers must learn that they are brothers first and buddies second or they will lose their credibility. It is fine to be best buds or pals and hang out together but a big brother has responsibilities and after they are grown the roles don't always stay the same--sometimes a younger sibling assumes the role of big bro. Nowadays "big bro" is derogatory and people call the government by that name, but some of us were glad to have a big bro growing up whether we want to admit it or not now. 

There is a responsibility, to be honest first and to speak the truth in love, as Paul says. Jesus said in Matt. 5:22 that one who is angry at his brother or insults him "(the psalmist says that "the insults of those who insult [God] have fallen on [him])"  is in danger of judgment! You don't say, "You are arrogant" (that is judging). You say, "That seemed an arrogant thing to say, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt anyway." I am very sensitive about being labeled "crazy," "unbalanced," "off my rocker," "gone off the deep end," "gotten carried away," "taken leave of my senses," "beside myself," etc. and any connotation thereof gets my goat. I overreact and go on the defensive and am oversensitive because of my personal background, but it takes a brave friend to point out the error of one's way. Sometimes our best friends are blind to our faults and perhaps that is why they are so close to us; our brothers really know the true self we portray and we can't fool them because they really know us and also when we need intervention or help or counsel.

"He who does not love his brother abides in death," according to John. This caveat to heed from John: If we don't love our brother whom we have seen how can we love Christ who we haven't seen; these are sobering thoughts.    Soli Deo Gloria!

Friends Of Jesus

Abraham was the "friend of God" so we are grandiose to think we are exclusively the "buddy" of Jesus by the same token. I don't believe in any exclusive thinking for the believer or building of barriers or dichotomies between fellow brethren. Some Christians imagine that they are "buddies" with the Lord. We are servants. Paul calls us doulos or slave. John MacArthur says we are not His "sidekicks." ("Well done good and faithful servant.") Jesus called us all "friends" in the sense that we know His will and what He is doing. We cannot be egotistical in thinking we are above other Christians or a cut above others, because Christianity is egalitarian and we are all one in Christ. There is neither male nor female, et cetera.

If we are not His friends we are His enemies; there is no middle ground. Let's not let it go to our heads that we are all as believers the "friends" of Christ. He said that "Whoever is not with Me is against Me..." (Matt. 12:30). There is no dichotomy of believers whereas some are carnal and non-spiritual and others are mature. We are all works in progress but nevertheless "friends" and "brethren" of the Lord himself.   Soli Deo Gloria!