A testimony is to attest to a first-hand account and account for it--it is hard to argue, like a man saying, "I was blind, but now I see." In a testimony, we give the synopsis of our life before conversion, how we got converted, and life after the leap, so to speak. Before the conversion, there is unrest and perplexity, then there is a turning point or climax, then there is peace, fulfillment and rest in Christ according to Billy Graham. They all tell of the person's personal pilgrimage and usually don't spare the details, as some like to glorify the past. I will spare you the details; believe me, I was a bad boy and a prodigal son and went through the school of hard knocks and had to come to the end of myself before I would cry out to the Lord in saving faith. I was surely depraved and knew it; I had been there and done that!
Conversion is the act of
repentance, faith, and regeneration all occurring together by an act of God ("Salvation is
of the Lord.") We do the
repenting and believing and God does the
regenerating which is passive. Faith is a
gift of God and repentance is just the flip side that occurs simultaneously; it is
either believing repentance or penitent faith that saves.
My
first step was to admit my need; like they say the preacher has to get the
lost before he can save them. I was at my wit's end and at the end of my rope! Confirmation in the Lutheran church had been to
no avail and I had lost what faith I had in college. It was in the Army that I came to
know the Lord. I was not a very good soldier and didn't think I was going to make it as the loner I was. I wasn't getting out of life what I wanted and was existential in my philosophy thinking there was no
purpose in life but to party. But I don't want to give "
too much info!"
Before I was saved my life was
dominated by sin and pleasing myself; I had no
peace of mind and was looking ours for
Number One! There seemed to be pleasure in sin for a season as I went to the bar scenes and learned to drink. I was also
looking for love in all the wrong places if you know what I mean. I was separated from God and there was a
cleavage or chasm between us. My life was empty, void and seemed boring in a
vacuum. I yearned to have a
relationship with God, not just know that He exists, and didn't know what I was searching for; however, I wanted to know the
truth. As Pascal said, "There is a God-shaped vacuum in us that only God can fill." And Augustine said, "Our hearts are restless till they find their rest in Thee."
We are made to know God and have a relationship with Him. I like Psalm 107:2 which says, "Let the
redeemed of the Lord tell their story ("Let the redeemed of the Lord say so"); if you have been redeemed speak up, in other words! Now how I got saved listening to Billy Graham. I was listening to the sermon being translated into Korean and it was going so slow I got every point he made! He was talking of
repentance and that seemed the
missing link in my life that I had never done; I had to
renounce sin for good. First I realized my need: "Indeed it is the straightedge of the law that shows us how crooked we really are" (Rom. 3:20).
Then I
recognized that Christ was indeed God in the flesh who died on my behalf
personally. I
received Christ with saving faith, which is either called believing repentance or penitent faith as my personal Lord and Savior. Note that I realized that repentance was
imperative or mandatory according to Acts 17:30, "Now He commands all men everywhere to repent." Acts 3:19 says, "Repent and turn to God that your sins may be
blotted out and times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord."
I made a
clear commitment that was a response to the
wooing or tug of the Holy Spirit and I literally gave up, surrendered, and committed to following Christ. I went from the "gutter most to the uttermost." The
result is not that I am everything I
ought to be, but thank God I'm not what I
used to be! I have
peace with God, others, and myself ("Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have
peace with God..."; "My
peace I give unto you..."; "Thou wilt keep him in perfect
peace....")
I have
an assurance that I am going to heaven because I am not ignorant of God's Word and take Him at His Word. "He that comes to me I will in no wise cast out" (John 6:37). This is my
spiritual birth certificate you could say! As they say: "God said it in His
Word, I believe it in my
heart, that settles it in my
mind."
Most important I have an
abundant and fulfilling life according to His promise of abundant life with a capital
L (in short purpose in living). I am now learning to
overcome sin,
know His will and
seek His kingdom. But faith is
manifest only in
obedience; it has legs and must be followed by
action or it is dead (no fruit, no faith);we must turn our beliefs into deeds, for we are saved
unto good works though not by them, and we are His
masterpiece (says Paul in Eph. 2:10).
Soli Deo Gloria!